This is a summary of college only using two pictures; expensive as hell.
That’s my Sociology “book”. In fact what it is is a piece of paper with codes written on it to allow me to access an electronic version of a book. I was told by my professor that I could not buy any other paperback version, or use another code, so I was left with no option other than buying a piece of paper for over $200. Best part about all this is my professor wrote the books; there’s something hilariously sadistic about that. So I pretty much doled out $200 for a current edition of an online textbook that is no different than an older, paperback edition of the same book for $5; yeah, I checked. My mistake for listening to my professor.
This is why we download.
Spreading this shit like nutella because goddamn textbooks are so expensive.
I still have not moved from my fucking computer.
Damn it’s been a long time since I’ve wrote…. Considering I now have no facebook, twitter, or instagram, it seems my tumblr is the only thing I have left. Which I am PERFECTLY fine with…. So I guess I shall update my zero followers with my life.
I have met a boy. Actually months ago. Things progressed very fast, and even though we have had our unbelievably wretched times including screaming fights, violence (on my end not his….sorry)…and a mess of other problems, I am happy to say I love him to death. The bad part is everyone around me seems to have a problem with it….
The good part is that I’ve actually went back to not giving a shit what anyone else has to say about it. They can all suck my metaphorical dick and let me live my own life with my own choices. And honestly, I am well aware of all the talking about it behind my back, so fuck anyone who’s doing that and thinks I don’t know about it…..
On a brighter note, I am going to get back into sketching and painting and hopefully other crafty matters such as sewing and baking. So stay tuned for pictures I suppose.
I’m sure due to my lack of other social media there will be even more posts from me on here without the excessive space in between. But, I am now off to attempt to clean my disgusting house and try not to come down with any infectious disease due to my laziness over the past couple weeks…..Ta-ta.
My Very Hungry Caterpillar, done by Lee at Inka Tattoos, Derby, UK. This has been something I’ve wanted for at least three years now, because it was a constant reminder of my childhood. It was pretty much the only book my dad ever read to me when I was younger. The ‘all things can be made baeutiful’ was something I thought a bit later on, and the reason that beautiful is spelt slightly wrong is because, along with the child theme anyway, everyone has made mistakes in the past, but no matter what, something good will come out of it.
I love him, he is my baby, and I cannot wait to get my next tattoo! xx
By far the best tattoo I have seen in a while. Very well done, adorable, and so much meaning. Love the misspelling of beautiful……mucho envy from me haha
So, I decided that I may actually start using this blog, not only to post shit I find hilarious, intriguing and just pure entertaining….but to actually…ya know….blog.
This morning, being wide awake on no sleep, I was pondering soooo many different things. Literally probably more than I can type in the fifteen minutes I actually have to write this….
I guess Ill start with the fact that I’m a strange person who lives an unrealistic life. By this I mean….well, I dont even know how to put it. Like, for example, I LOVE my family to death, and they do SO much for me. Really. A lot. And each week, I end up going out, spending money I shouldn’t, getting too drunk or other things….should be studying and resting, and seeing as much as I can see, but usually the only things I see are my classrooms, my job, and the inside of a bar. Yet somehow I still end up doing fabulous in school, end up on random road trips seeing the east side of the U.S., meeting amazing people, and ending my week with insane stories that you would think are made up. I literally do everything that I straight up should not do, completely disregard my health and financial situations, yet end up with an awesome, successful life. I mean, I do work hard at everything I do, for example, I bust my ass at work…usually…..but still….this sounds absolutely terrible, but I recognize that somehow, without even trying, shit gets handed to me or thrown in my lap. I am soooo very thankful for this dont get me wrong, but I have definitely decided to cut back on the party lifestyle and try harder to actually….well, I dont know exactly, but try harder at something. maybe focus on my art a little more, or learn something new…..
Second, I was thinking about my friends. Words cannot even explain how much I absolutely LOVE my friends. I have been feeling as though I’m slightly neglecting them though….which is making me feel terrible. I’m horrible at answering texts (not because I don’t want to or ignore them, but because I don’t remember to reply sometimes), and when I do answer, I honestly can’t think of good shit to say so it comes out like I’m being stand-offish. Which sucks. And, honestly, I don’t want my friends to think I can’t have a good time without drinking and shit, because I definitely can, but I know that’s how they all must feel considering that’s usually all we fucking do…..This alone makes me feel like such a loser it’s unreal….I mean, Derrick, Andy, Tyler, and that whole crew, I guess they’re a little different because that’s pretty much all they enjoy doing, and they live in Ashtabula so it’s not really like we’re presented with a whole lot of options for entertainment….but my friends like Mike and Eric…I barely ever see them because they aren’t huge drinkers like me, which sucks….then when I do see them its fucking awkward because I don’t even know what to talk about, considering that usually my only stories involve me being either drunk, or with drunks, which makes me come off like a fucking douche-bag alcoholic….which I definitely do NOT want to be known as…..
My biggest concern with this is definitely my best friend, and my roommate, Angela. This girl has legit been there for me through it all, at least since I’ve been in college, and dealt with ALL my shit…including my drinking, old drug habit, borderline personality disorder, and all of the boyfriends I’ve had since we met. She is so patient and understanding, and sooo smart and responsible. Not to sound like…I don’t know….a lesbian, or mushy, or weird, ect….but I wish it wouldn’t come off weird if I told her how much she is a role model to me….I mean, she’s only one year older than me, but still…I seriously wish I was as grounded and stable and chill as she is. I hate that my mind moves so fast…. I feel terrible for being the way I was as a friend, and I really am pushing myself to make it up to her…Honestly, I probably don’t have enough courage, and I definitely have way to much pride (which is a huge issue in my life I’m working on) to say any of this to her, but I’m definitely gunna take making myself into a better friend seriously. No more smoking in the apartment besides my room, no more people over if she works late or has work early, and…and this is not for her really, but definitely affects it…..gunna slow waaaaaay the fuck down on drinking.
Speaking of drinking….definitely a problem that will get solved. It’s legit taking a toll on my body. I’ve gained weight, I don’t eat healthy because I spend money on beer and liquor….fuck I don’t do shit and struggle with putting gas in my car because I spend too much cash on drinking. It’s hard to breath because I smoke more when I drink, I’m always tired….I want to be able to do things like run, and sing, and jump up and down without getting winded, and be able to wake up early and enjoy my morning NOT hungover….I don’t wanna neglect my friends who used to be there for me then disappeared because they were smart enough to stay away from this fucked up life, like Matt for example. My best fucking friend on earth, and now I never see him because he got his life together, and I couldn’t…..so I quit hanging out because i thought it would be boring without alcohol…. Even typing that out, I feel like a fucking dumbass…I’m done wasting my life. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I’m sure I’ll still go out once in a while and have a beer with my friends, maybe even get rowdy occasionally on a weekend….but no more of this drinking every single day of my life, then feeling like shit.
I guess it takes one good morning of enjoying coffee, running off of no sleep, and talking to an old friend to really make you sit back and examine your life….
But, I promise I’m done ranting, if you even got to reading this far….It definitely felt good to let that out, especially somewhere where more than likely no one will see it, and if they do, they probably won’t care enough to read it. I’m ready for this reform of myself, and to give my body and mind a break for a long while….
Off to shower, then to class…..Should be fabulous without all this weight on my shoulders : ) have a wonderful day to anyone who decided to read this!! Ta-Ta!!